Here is a continuation of my Love Challenge, if you are wondering what this “love challenge” is all about click HERE to read the first post!
Expectations Of Love…
Last week’s love challenge was very successful! Mike and I made it a point to sit down every night and talk about how our day was. Some chats were shorter than others but the important part was that we were communicating. As we sat down last night to talk we agreed that this week felt as if we were living life as a team instead of player against player. We had a tough week, he and two of our kids got a tummy bug. When one of us gets sick it always adds a bit of stress to our daily life. Many times when we have a sickness come through our home Mike and I start to snap at each other. We are both tired, frazzled and our energy is spent making sure the kids are feeling well. This week was different. Sure we still felt tired, frazzled and low on energy but we felt loved and supported by each other. I believe our week went much smoother because of our nightly chats.
Tuesday night we found the time to sit down and talk about our expectations. It was so nice to hear what we each expected of each other. I am guilty of not writing them down. I just discussed with him what they were, I need to write them down for him to see. I will do that this week. Basically we discussed a typical day for us and how we both expected things to go. We listened to each other, not giving excuses why we did or wanted certain things done. We discussed each thing as we brought it up. For example, Mike doesn’t mind bringing me coffee in the morning before I am out of bed but he doesn’t want to be in charge of making sure I get up. Yes I am guilty of expecting him to wake me, I hate my alarm (who doesn’t). He loves bringing me coffee and giving me a kiss to wake me but after that if I am not up he doesn’t want to be responsible. I told him I agreed, so now I set my alarm so that if I do not get up when he brings me coffee then its all on me. Simple and DONE. He is much less stressed in the mornings now! I am not so surprised when he is walking out the door and I am still in bed. I’m not a very good morning person can you tell? Some expectations were talked about and decided if they were reasonable or not. Overall we made sure we both were heard and talked about what we can each do to help each other.
So to sum up last week, it was great. We made time for each other and the expectation talk went very well. This week our challenge is to continue talking every night (weekends too!) after the kids are in bed. We are adding on to our challenge by asking each other at the end of our chat what we can do for each other the next day. This is how we decided we would try to apply our expectations. We each say to each other, “what can I do for you tomorrow that will help your day be better?” Last night he told me he needed me to be encouraging and supportive at eight in the evening so he can workout. I agreed that was reasonable and I will be helpful. I asked him if he would make time to do family devotions. He agreed, we discussed when and how it will work. We both left our chat tonight feeling loved, heard, and supported. This challenge is working great so far!!! We are not perfect and still have times of frustration with each other and life in general but we are working through them instead of just living selfishly.
How about you? Did you try last weeks challenge? If not it’s NEVER to late to start! Try it this week! If you did try the first week’s challenge and want to share your experience wether positive or not tell me in a comment below! I want to know. Have a great week with this challenge, I will be back next Monday with another challenge to add on to making your love commitment stronger.
Strive For Progress!