“Made a decision today about my name and business. It empowers me and makes me feel a bit sheepish at the same time. This will also take a lot of work to change. I feel it is what God has lead me to do and I am finally at peace with the past.” – Natalie Mae Hixson (recent Facebook post)
Is there a “ghost” in your past that haunts you? Something from your younger years that you try to forget about but at different times in your life the memory rears it’s ugly head and you are forced to deal with it. Some of us just turn the other way and try to forget about it. As for me, I tried to forget about one in my life but found out quickly that the issue will not go away until I deal with it. My issue was enough to keep me from using my first name when I started this blog and then our new website, Spend Successfully. Recently, with God’s help, I came to terms with this fear and memory. He gave me courage to face it and the peace to move on. I feel like I can come out of my “shell” and be who I truly am.
So what’s in a name? Many times growing up I heard friends complain about their name. They wished their parents had given them a different one. I thankfully was never party to those feelings myself. I have always thought that my name was a beautiful gift from my parents. I am thankful for it and would not change it for the world. Thank you Mom and Dad! My thoughts on my name changed when I decided to put myself “out there”, in the public eye. Out of fear I decided to call myself Mae. I have been Mae for three years now with Strive For Progress and Mae for almost a year on Spend Successfully. This decision is not as simple as changing my name on Facebook. It will take a lot of effort to change and is something many people will notice. Over the next week I will have to change my websites, all of my logos, pages, videos, etc. For me, there is a lot in a name, especially a name change.
My personality is not easy going. I like to “pretend” that I am but really I am a deeply emotional person. I have a very sensitive intuition and many of my decisions are made with gut feelings not logic. I spend too much time worrying about things others consider as “silly”. Throughout my life I have been told that I over react or worry to much. I can undersand why I am told that. I have insecurities that can drive me to worry too much. Sensitive people like me are needed in society. We are just part of the balance of personalities in the world. Some things need to be worried about and that is okay. My name is something I have totally worried about. My fear is if I switch it, people think I am silly. I love my middle name but it feels strange when people call me that, unless it’s my niece because I am auntie Mae to her and I love that! I have gone back and forth on this issue for the past six months. I have prayed and weighed the options. Thankfully God has lead me to a final decision that I am 100% sure about. Coming to terms with this has been a huge relief! As I write this post I know there are some insecurities that I still have to deal with, like worrying about what others think. Those insecurities will resolve themselves with time and personal growth. I accept that responsibility. These types of issues are the reason I write this blog, we need to remember to strive for progress! I desire to give hope and inspiration to anyone feeling challenged by the big and little things in life.
So today we say good bye to sweet, protective Mae and say hello to the real me, Natalie Mae Hixson. Thank you to all my amazing and sweet readers, fans and followers for accepting me and supporting me. You all are so dear to me. God Bless!
Strive For Progress!!!
did you like this post? if so please click the “pin it” button below to share with others on pinterest! you can also share this with others on facebook! thank you so much!